Ten (really)  Small Things to Get to It

I always see these motivational posts about ways to get motivated. Some one telling me that making a vision board and stretching in the morning will really help. I know they’re right, of course. The trick is when you are completely black hole unmotivated, you don’t want to make the vision board. And if I could get up to stretch in the morning I would already feel better than 50% of my peers. So while all of those fun little things to do are nice, they aren’t really helpful when staring down your own baleful depression. 

Instead I need the tiniest of reminders. The things I can do when I’m feeling desperate. I need the really small things to get to it, with no expectation of getting to it right now. After spending a day or two thinking about it, and testing them out, I came up with this list. I hope it helps you, if like me, the poster for that vision board is still staring at you blankly. 

One: Watch your thoughts. Happiness and motivation are not things that we get. They are things we bring to our lives every day. You have to carry them in, with your own voice, in your own head. We always have a murmur of thoughts babbling around, so consistently we don’t even stop to pay attention to it. Stop. Listen to it. Find out what you’re thinking when you aren’t paying attention. You’ll be surprised. You might find a lot of “I’m not really great at that” or “why am I always stupid” and other self deprecating phrases. Even simple thoughts will bully your personal mojo down. Watch that babble. Take things out that don’t need to be there, put things in that do. Spending two minutes lying around thinking kind thoughts is going to do you a lot better than spending any time with the negative ones. 

Two: Be honest with yourself. I know the old work myself out of that productive thing trick. How else would I be able to convince myself to skip the yoga and sleep in again? I know yoga makes me feel amazing. I know that I have a genuinely better day if I start off with it. I’m not even making this up. So why are there still mornings where I am wide awake, laying in my bed, hitting the god damn snooze button? Because I am a crafty liar. The alarm goes off. I roll over. I stare at that beautifully alluring snooze button created by the devil himself. And then I begin to lie. Well, you know, I think to myself, you got to sleep pretty late last night. 10:30? That’s not a full 8 hours. You really do need that extra half an hour. Or, I’ll do it right after work. I know I will. And so on, and so on. I come up with all sorts of stories to avoid hitting my feet on the ground for another thirty minutes. But if I stop lying, if I say, own up to it Cara, you know you should get the hell out of bed. You know if you go back to sleep you’ll feel groggy. Well, even if I do go back to sleep, when I feel like crap I know why. Maybe my brain slowly starts to associate sleeping in with crappy feelings. And maybe getting up to do yoga starts to look really good again.

Three: Log off of social media. Trust me, I know it isn’t easy. I know on days when you are feeling down that all you want to do is curl up and stare at Facebook or Instagram, blankly allowing nonsense information to enter your brain. It is my personal favorite past time. The trick is, it will suck you in for three hours and at the end of it you’ll still feel horrible, if not worse. Just close out of it. Just hit the back button, x, main screen button, whatever button you have to. Just click it and do everything in your will power to not click back in. Those notifications don’t matter, they’ll be there in the morning. Just move your brain on for a bit.

Four: Get inspired. Sometimes this step is a good one to go to right after you log off social media. On the days when the blue screen and depression have too much of a hold on my mind I can at least follow this step, and the motivation gears start moving a little. For me it’s as simple as logging off Facebook and on to Instagram. My instagram is filled with beautiful places, cute animals, and beautiful art and poetry. After about ten minutes of staring at that I can remind myself that THAT can be my life, and I maybe even get off my tablet. Other options are going on to WordPress and reading inspiring blogs, googling something you’ve always wondered about but never looked in to, looking up the history of someone you look up to and seeing how they accomplished their goals. Even things as simple as looking up your horoscope. Just get your brain back to thinking, to processing something useful.

Five: Hate what you do, as much as you can. This is not usually how I roll. I’m much more into the silver lining and all that. Only the reality is that some days there is no silver lining, or at least none you can see. If that’s the case, if you just can’t stop walking around cursing every thing in your life, then go with it. Take it to the extreme. Hate the way your boss talks to you. Hate the commute to your job. Hate the way your body looks. Hate the way you  feel. Hate that stupid plant that your cousin got you and you some how managed to kill. Hate it, get angry about it, as angry as you can. Then push that rage into something productive. That’s the hard part, but you can do it if you get angry enough. All emotions are important and useful. Rage has a lot of energy in it, it makes some serious heat. With enough heat you’ll get a fire, and that fire can start burning down apatheticville.

Six: Talk to someone about your plans. Pick someone you love, or maybe a stranger you don’t care ab0ut, whatever is easy for you. Then, go! Tell them how you have this plan to start removing dairy from your diet, or talk about how amazing you feel when you paint. Post a status, mention it at work, text your mom. Tell someone because excitement is contagious and having some one excited for you is powerful. If someone doesn’t get excited, move on to the next person. Or, tap into a little rage and get to thinking about how you can prove to them you’re a rock star. Just say the words. Talking about your plans, putting your intentions out there, can absolutely help to manifest them. 

Seven: Take responsibility for your own life. This is an important step and one we can all forget too easily. When life has us down it is sometimes simpler to think that the Heavens are having fun kicking you around. The reality is that outside forces can only help you so much, the rest is up to you. When you feel exhausted at work, did you unplug an hour before bed? When you have that killer headache, did you drink water? When you feel alone and unloved, have you reached out to anyone lately? The reality is that you know what you need to do, and maybe sometimes it is hard to do it, but that doesn’t mean you can start thinking the world has it out for you. Take responsibility, know that you’ve been doing a little of this to yourself. Now you can recognize that you can change it. It’s your life.

Eight: Ask your support system for advice. Good or bad, it’ll get you thinking. Maybe you’ve hit a wall in your writing, or you really don’t know how you’ll build that tiny house. Talk to someone about it. The internet isn’t the only wealth of information around you. So are your friends and family, who hopefully have the best intentions for you. Ask them what they think you should do. If their answers don’t ring true to your plans, then you can cross that off the list of options. It will get you back to thinking about what you need to do. And with enough bad advice, you might find you had the answer all along. Nevermind that a fresh perspective never hurts, and suddenly, you can be thinking outside of the box that you so quickly locked yourself in. Reach out to someone intelligent or who has the best intentions for you. You’re not alone in this Life thing. 

Nine: Remember why you even want to life. This is something I myself struggle with, a LOT. Not that I’m always thinking about ending my life. Just that sometimes you get swept up with the pay the bills, go to work, sleep, pay the bills cycle. It’s easy to forget what you’re passionate about, the things that make you happy. Then it’s easy to forget about dreams, and dreams can wither away and die if we don’t keep an eye on them. Instead of re watching The Walking Dead focus on your here and now. Remember what you wanted to be when you grow up. Think about the things you love, make them tangible. Giving that dream a little sunshine goes a long way. 

Ten: Don’t second guess yourself! Just that. Don’t second guess those instincts, those dreams, those fears, those passions. A wise woman once told me, in a yoga video (Adriene Mishler to be specific), the Universe has your back. You are a part of the Universe. You have your back. Stop thinking you can’t do this, you already are. 

Like I said, ten really small things. You might think they’re too simple. But from someone who hasn’t posted on this page in months, I promise, it really helps. Either way, share your thoughts with me! I would love to know what gets you motivated. 


A Little Tough Love

Let’s start off with a fun fact that might surprise you guys. As much as I preach the self love, I myself come from a pretty conservative, right winged, military family. In fact, I’m kind of the freak in my liberal, “hippie” ways. All that really means is that it is a constant training practice for me to not immediately shout “SUCK IT UP, PANSY” to myself and anyone else when they are hurt/sad/sensitive.

While I think this has some draw backs (an ineffective habit of self abusing thoughts) it also has some serious pros. Number one, I am always, involuntarily a complete fucking bad ass. Of course if you ask my mom she might mention something about how I’m a huge baby, but after that she will admit all of her kids are pretty Arnold Schwarzenegger-esq. In my family we don’t get sick, and if by some means we do, we drink water and then we’re fine. We also firmly believe, unless it’s bleeding you’re fine. Actually unless it’s bleeding a lot you’re fine. And anything can be accomplished if you just suck it up and do it.


Treat life like a god damn pickle jar. (Free img from pixaby)

Now I do recognize that some of these mottos don’t really take mental health into account, trust me, I do. The thing is they provide me with enough strength to get moving often. They also can give a seriously handy sense of confidence. I mean, growing up in my family the “fun” thing to do was to have push up contests. I still find that fun. That right there proves I may be a badass, and really fucking good at push ups.

With that little interlude of competitive, intense Cara, let’s move on to talk about the real business. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and get your life moving. How? Let me give you an example.

For some sick reason (see family history above) last year I decided to give up naps for Lent. I’m not religious, at all. Just the idea of removing one of my major loves of my life and seeing how insane it could make me really intrigued me. Did I mention I’m sick? This year, I gave up Facebook. Now for some of you neither of those things may really mean anything. You need to understand. I LOVE naps, sleeping in, and sleep of all sorts. Facebook, is just a way to make your brain sleep for hours without actually sleeping. Facebook also feeds my nosing around addiction. Sleep feeds my shutting off from the world because I’m sad addiction. Both of these things were perceived as necessary to life for me. Imagine coffee, or chocolate, or oxygen being removed from your life. Sounds terrible, right? Yeah. It is.

Now I am about half way through this hell, for the second time in my life. Every day I am desperate to curl up and just stare at facebook for hours. You have no idea how much I’ve gotten done in the last few weeks, which is completely exahausting. I just want to turn off my brain. Every day I dont. Every single day I suck it up, and keep going. I mean yeah, I whine profusely about it. Still, I get shit done. Why? Because I know it’s good for me. Because I know I need to do it. Because absolutely nothing feels better than getting shit done. That sense of accomplishment? That feeling of pride? Brings me back to ruthlessly destroying my older brother in spelling, feeling like a Boss.

This is not always the route to go with yourself. Balance is necessary. I repeat though, BALANCE IS NECESSARY. We can’t always go through our days letting life slide by, shrugging things off because “it just isn’t time”. Yes, we need to be kind to ourselves. No, I don’t berate myself when I screw up. Yes, we need to take initiative. We need to try. We need to test our limits and see just how much further out of our comfort zones we can go today!

How does that saying go? “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I know that we have built our walls of excuses and defined ourselves into a simple, labeled box. The world is still out there, though. Waiting for you to open up to so much more. Most days I don’t feel like I am blossoming. Blossoming sounds elegant and beautiful. No, I feel like I am prying off layers, like I am ripping down my self. Most of the time I feel like I am standing bare, getting whipped up in a storm and barely making it out alive.

Still, I pry and pull and shred. You only have one wild life to live. Take it. Wake up. Suck it up, buttercup and fucking LIVE. Challenge yourself. Not every day. Hell no. We all need breaks and to rest. But challenge yourself. Pick something and attack it. Change your lifestyle. Make it count, NOW. Because tomorrow is not yours, stop pretending it is. We have nothing in this mad house except for our choices, except for our moments.

Give up a bad habit. Stick to it, at least for 46 days. It isn’t impossible, and you won’t regret it. Just think, if you don’t, if you just keep doing the same thing every day even though you hate it, what the hell are you doing with your life?

Get on it.

They say the Key to a good relationship is Listening

Last week I asked you to do one thing. Find your Love. Think about it, sit with it, write it down. I hope you did. If not, it’s okay. The great thing about your life is it’s yours, and if then wasn’t the right moment, make Now the right moment. I mean, you’re sitting here reading this. In the time it could take you to finish this post, you could have a whole new life goal determined. You could be so invigorated with motivation you march right off this screen and into life. In that case, hell yes! Keep it moving, sweet being!

If you’re not feeling quite so fiesty, that’s all good. You’ve come to the right place.
We still have some things to work on, anyways.

Do you have your Love yet? Is it snuggled up besides you, lazily asking you just what do you expect it to do? Good. That means you found one with some tude, and those are the best. Before we go any further I need you to look at this Love of yours. Stare this passion down. Wiggle it in your fingers, lift it above your head. Throw it against the wall, roll it down the stairs. Wrestle this Love. Then hold this Love. Listen to it, ask it if it’s okay. Tell it a terrible joke, see if it laughs. Make sure this Love is YOUR LOVE.

See, for a long time I thought I had met my Love. I brought it everywhere with me. Pulled it out at parties, showed it off saying “see this, this is what I’m going to do.” People would ooh and aah or snort. It didn’t matter. My Love and I were tight, and I told myself it would stay that way. I was pretty sure my Love was the one for me. I had picked it, I hadn’t let anybody tell me which one was best. It had to be true, right?

Wrong. Somewhere I had gotten my Love and my Goals mixed up. Now, Goals are cool and all. Very useful for making plans. Except my Goals kept popping in my life, snickering at how little I was getting done, always poking fun at me. Here I was thinking my Goals were my Love and I couldn’t understand why they kept treating me so wrong. Eventually we broke up, and then I just hung around. No Goals, no Love, just lost.

Until one day I was feeling sulky, and I started writing about all the things I wanted. I wrote a couple of different lists, a couple of different times. Things like a functioning car, all of the cats, endless money, some new jeans popped up. They seemed important, especially the cats. Only they were always at the end of my list. Things like, a job I love, making sure my friends and family know I love them, completing my bucket list. Those stayed on the top. Again and again. Slowly I started to see my life, to have a haphazard idea of the “important stuff”. Not your typical important stuff, not someone else’s idea of success. My own strange, vague stuff. Then I got to writing about that, and then I figured it out. This weird idea is my Love.

What is my Love? Well, it’s hard to explain, and I feel silly telling people about it. But I think an example is necessary. My Love is to live my life seeking out all of the love. I want to do the things I love and I want to love the things I do. I want to give up bad habits that break me from the beauty of life, I want to commit to the good habits, to the things that make me happy like a wolf brutally on the hunt. I want to wake up and when I am sad, cry and when I am happy, cry. I want to move mountains with this illogical passion that I have spent so many years burying in fear. I want to give myself to the world, completely.

I wasn’t lying when I said it didn’t make sense. I know it’s stupid simple. Isn’t there some cheesy line about the truth being like that? And I will tell you, after figuring this out, it’s been a helluva lot easier to get out of bed in the morning.

This wasn’t what I meant to type in this post. Still, I think it’s the right thing. A life passion isn’t something to take lightly (not all the time, at least). As much as you may feel ready to jump at the throat of life and take it down, maybe you should take just one more minute of self relfection. The knitty gritty will still be waiting tomorrow. Your Lovd deserves a little more of your attention. It is, after all, the most important stuff.

Amore, amore!

It’s 2016! We’ve all had the last month to get high off the new year, new me motivation. I hope you spent it well! If you’re anything like me, you mostly made plans to kick ass. That’s okay though, because now it’s February. February is the real ass-kickin’ month. Why, you ask? Because February is all about the LOVE!


Some of you may be groaning with that “don’t get all mushy on me” vibe. You might want to just swallow that vomit back down and get on this love train, because it is going to be great.

When I say February is the month of love, I need to clarify one thing. I’m not saying Valentine’s day is around the corner and because you might be alone you should start forcefully improving. Oh, hell no! I’m talking about getting down with all the love. Self love, family love, friends love, pet love, food love, and all the other great loves we, well, love! Valentine’s day is a great excuse to celebrate all these things. Since we’re making excuses, we might as well make Valentine’s day the excuse to celebrate it all month!

You may be thinking, okay clearly Cara has lost it. Love has nothing to do with motivation. To that I say pish posh, my friend! Haven’t you ever been in love? Being in love inspires and motivates you to do crazy things. I mean why do I do the dishes? Because I love my mom, and I know it makes her happy. Why do I go running sometimes? Take one look at my excited pup and you’ll figure out why. Why don’t I just say screw it and call out of work? Because I love the people I work with, and that would make their days suck. Think about it, find your gem of life. Then acknowledge just how much it inspires you to do.

At one point I wrote an article about intrinsic motivation, and how important it is to follow your own path, work on the things you’re passionate about. Oddly enough I didn’t even realize that all that really meant is, do what you love. If you do what you love, you’re going to be more inspired to keep doing it. End result? Love equals motivation.

My first step for this Love month is FIND YOUR LOVE. Get on those dating websites and hunt that perfect person down! Just kidding! What I’m talking about is better than a desperate Valentine’s date. It’s a date with yourself. It’s you, some hot chocolate (or coffee!), a comfy seat, and a pen and paper. Time to write out those feelings. I know it’s cheesy but I promise, it works. The only rule? Be honest and open with yourself. Give yourself some time to figure out what exactly is your favorite thing in life. What is the most important thing to you? Get down with your bad self and find that Love. It doesn’t have to be something concrete, it doesn’t have to make you money, and it doesn’t have to be sentimental either.

Your love is yours, it can be anything. Any idea, any rule, any person. It can be a noun, verb, or pronoun! It doesn’t matter. You can write one hundred loves, or maybe just one. You can write an essay about your love or just a single word. As long as it feels true to you.

Find it, acknowledge it, and sit with it. For now, just figuring out what you really are passionate about is enough. I know, this is some pretty heavy, vomit inducing, mushiness but just try it. I promise, I won’t tell anyone.

If at first you don’t Succeed ask yourself – Why?

What makes the difference between those of us who will procrastinate until we can’t function and the people who tackle obstacles for fun? Were they born with some super gene that keeps them going? Do they have access to some illegal energy drink that we don’t?

This guy's trying to figure it out too.

This guy’s trying to figure it out too.

I can’t vouch for the entire population but there is one factor that psychologists have pin pointed. A difference between the go getters and do-it-laterers. Why we are motivated. Why do you want to go to the gym? What is the point in eating healthy? Why are you waking up early? Are you doing these things to avoid something? To gain something? Then you are being extrinsically motivated. Extrinsic motivation is carrots and sticks, rewards and punishments. It is an outside force motivating you. Those super powered beings? They are generated by intrinsic motivation, the desire to do something because they want to. It is motivation generated from the motivatee. Here’s an example; why am I writing this article? Am I writing it because I want to be a famous blogger or am I writing it because I enjoy it? If I’m writing it to be famous that’s an extrinsic motivator. Because extrinsic motivators can be intangible, like receiving praise or recognition, or avoiding shame. If I’m writing it because I enjoy it then I’m intrinsically motivated.

Now a lot of us have been convinced that rewards and punishments are always the way to motivate someone but this is not true. Extrinsic motivation can sometimes help but really once you put a price on something it loses that inner reward. Once you lose that inner reward well, no bribe or threat can really replace it. Intrinsic motivation gives us that push that even money can’t. Now after I learned about extrinsic and intrinsic motivation I kind of started to freak out. Everything I did was extrinsically motivated. I tried to read certain books to seem smarter. I went to the gym because I didn’t want to get fat. I worked my job because that’s just what grown-ups do. Everything I did was done because that’s what grown-ups do.

Then it dawned on me. Screw being a societal grown up. Screw doing anything because that’s “what you’re supposed to do”. I’d rather talk about magic than politics. Running around playing tag is always more fun than on a treadmill. Working a million jobs to avoid working one job I hate is worth it. I don’t care if I look like a responsible adult. Everything I did was extrinsically motivated because I had taken all of my intrinsic motivation and shut it down. My little spark was dying. My spark of curiosity and challenge, of passion and awe. I had allowed other people and outside ideas to determine what I should do. When I couldn’t force myself into that image, I felt inadequate. The thing is, I was never inadequate, I just had to actually be me.

When you’re trying to motivate yourself to do something, stop. Ask yourself; why am I doing this? Is this something I want? Do I enjoy this? Are these actions reaching towards a goal I made? Take the time to listen to your brain, instead of always stuffing it with more nonsense. Put down the so under ground it’s cool interest. Walk away from the images of what other people have told you to be. Find your little spark, and then make it a fire. Delve into the things you love and you will find yourself burning up with motivation. Keep that childlike wonder in everything you do. Turn to the challenges that you want to win. Chase after the things you are passionate about. Curiosity will take you farther than any candy bar could.

Whether your spark reaches for fantasy books, ultimate frisbee, knitting, or even world domination just go with it. And tell me about it! I would love to hear about your crazy dreams or geeky interests. I would especially love to hear how you feel about this post so let me know!

Coming Home

Trying to accomplish any goal is frightening. You’re nervous and people will tell you why you can’t do it. It’s strange and new and there is a serious possibility of failure. Then people will swell around you with support, or you just make the leap on your own. You go forward and try. Negativity falls away and you find yourself chasing dreams you never thought you could.

Then something happens, and you find yourself failing. Quietly your great ideas start to disappear and motivation is squandered. You stop following your diet, you don’t sign up for that class, you stop writing. Until you let it die, plagued with your shame. That failure lurks in the back of your mind. All those negative things people said thundering in your thoughts. Trying something new is frightening. Going back to try again is paralyzing. Because you did fail. Those people were right. You really couldn’t do it. Each time you try to push yourself closer to taking the leap again you find yourself further and further back. Failure looming in front of you, you quit and keep on quitting.

Dreams though, are not so easily deterred. You might have hid it in the back of your mind, buried it in excuses and shame. You thought it was dead, never coming back because it hurt so bad. It’s still there. Creeping along in the corners, whispering quietly into your thoughts. Until you find yourself toying with it again. Planning for it again. Obsessing over it again. And it’s all you can see, shadowed by the fear, shame, and guilt of your failure but refusing to leave you alone. You can’t get it out of your head. So you begin to take the leap, again.

This post is my leap. I am not a great writer. I am not a good blogger. I am not very motivated. But I can not allow myself to stop just because I couldn’t do it once. A dream is there for a reason. It’s the instinct of your soul, the reality of your purpose. Stuffing it down and hiding it only makes this life one we aren’t living. Maybe your dream is more insane than others. Maybe everyone says you can’t. None of that matters. Attack what you love, stop wasting time being afraid.

I ran away from this blog after I stopped posting. I was ashamed, and I didn’t want to post again and bring that shame to light. But I realize this blog isn’t about research and experiments for me. It’s sharing my experiences with you. It’s talking about what it really means to try to accomplish your goals. This blog is the real struggles on being motivated and what I’m doing to overcome them. And in my own personal experiences I hope you find a connection. I don’t want to feel alone in trying to do something everyone says is crazy. I don’t want anyone to feel alone in that. So I’m back. Stay tuned for all of the insane, overwhelming, I really-don’t-want-to-do-it steps to hopefully, one day, aquire my own dreams. I hope you’ll share your same with me.

Self motivation & What my Seventh Year at Hogwarts Really Taught Me

In life there are pitfall moments. Pitfall days, weeks, months, maybe even (but hopefully not) years. These moments can be made by anything. Injuries, family emergencies, Lord Voldemort, whatever. In my life, it’s usually Lord Voldemort. Oh, wait, I’m not Hermione Granger. Right. Well then, in my life it’s usually depression. Which is probably just as difficult as dealing with Lord Voldemort and all his dramatic hissing.

Now, I’ve never been diagnosed with depression. I don’t take medication for it. And most of the time I get away scotch free without dealing with it.  This doesn’t make it any less real. Being depressed is nothing like being sad. Depression is having a four hundred pound weight sitting on your chest. It’s a little monster wrapped around your heart, plucking at your arteries, making it hurt until there is a lump in your throat. It’s your brain turning into a spaceship that you have no idea how to control and you’re desperately slamming buttons until you hear “SELF-DESTRUCT IN 10..9..” Most importantly depression is not something to be taken lightly, and if you feel it overwhelming you, REACH OUT.

The reality is that it is an internal struggle that we must always overcome. Not always alone, but it is something we have to do for ourselves. Motivation and depression, to me, are closely linked together. I’m not motivated so I’m not doing anything. Not doing anything makes me depressed. Being depressed makes me not motivated. Until I spiral into a vortex of doom.

Alas! There is a solution! DANCE! Dance, sing, jump, or even – just quietly smile. In our depression, our anxiety, our injuries and family emergencies we lose track of progress. You feel like you are losing at the game of life. And, maybe, when you start to “lose” at the game of life you are like me and you throw your hands up and say SCREW IT! I DIDN’T CARE ANYWAYS! LET THE DEATHEATERS WIN! And, maybe, for a few days or weeks or months, they do.

But as the wise and powerful Dumbledore once said “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” So let us turn on our own lights. Let us dance and sing. For a moment, let’s remember all of the powerful things we do everyday. In moments of depression getting up to go to work, cooking a real meal, not spending six hours watching Netflix seems almost impossible. Today quietly smile to yourself, because you went to work, or you finally cooked a real meal, or maybe, today, you only spent four hours watching Netflix. Find your small victory and trumpet it proudly around! Grab everyone you see, shake them violently by the shoulders and scream “I FINALLY SCHEDULED MY DOCTOR APPOINTMENT!” Blast a victory song and dance wildly on your way to work because you ARE on your way to work even though you swore you would call out today.

Celebrate yourself and the moments you keep trucking on, no matter how seemingly small. Some people might think this is silly, that the small things don’t really matter. But I know that I am right, because self doubt will never get you anywhere and confidence will take you miles. Smile, dance, shake people violently. I don’t care. Just for a moment know that you did it. And in knowing you did, know that you will again.