Let’s start off with a fun fact that might surprise you guys. As much as I preach the self love, I myself come from a pretty conservative, right winged, military family. In fact, I’m kind of the freak in my liberal, “hippie” ways. All that really means is that it is a constant training practice for me to not immediately shout “SUCK IT UP, PANSY” to myself and anyone else when they are hurt/sad/sensitive.
While I think this has some draw backs (an ineffective habit of self abusing thoughts) it also has some serious pros. Number one, I am always, involuntarily a complete fucking bad ass. Of course if you ask my mom she might mention something about how I’m a huge baby, but after that she will admit all of her kids are pretty Arnold Schwarzenegger-esq. In my family we don’t get sick, and if by some means we do, we drink water and then we’re fine. We also firmly believe, unless it’s bleeding you’re fine. Actually unless it’s bleeding a lot you’re fine. And anything can be accomplished if you just suck it up and do it.
Now I do recognize that some of these mottos don’t really take mental health into account, trust me, I do. The thing is they provide me with enough strength to get moving often. They also can give a seriously handy sense of confidence. I mean, growing up in my family the “fun” thing to do was to have push up contests. I still find that fun. That right there proves I may be a badass, and really fucking good at push ups.
With that little interlude of competitive, intense Cara, let’s move on to talk about the real business. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and get your life moving. How? Let me give you an example.
For some sick reason (see family history above) last year I decided to give up naps for Lent. I’m not religious, at all. Just the idea of removing one of my major loves of my life and seeing how insane it could make me really intrigued me. Did I mention I’m sick? This year, I gave up Facebook. Now for some of you neither of those things may really mean anything. You need to understand. I LOVE naps, sleeping in, and sleep of all sorts. Facebook, is just a way to make your brain sleep for hours without actually sleeping. Facebook also feeds my nosing around addiction. Sleep feeds my shutting off from the world because I’m sad addiction. Both of these things were perceived as necessary to life for me. Imagine coffee, or chocolate, or oxygen being removed from your life. Sounds terrible, right? Yeah. It is.
Now I am about half way through this hell, for the second time in my life. Every day I am desperate to curl up and just stare at facebook for hours. You have no idea how much I’ve gotten done in the last few weeks, which is completely exahausting. I just want to turn off my brain. Every day I dont. Every single day I suck it up, and keep going. I mean yeah, I whine profusely about it. Still, I get shit done. Why? Because I know it’s good for me. Because I know I need to do it. Because absolutely nothing feels better than getting shit done. That sense of accomplishment? That feeling of pride? Brings me back to ruthlessly destroying my older brother in spelling, feeling like a Boss.
This is not always the route to go with yourself. Balance is necessary. I repeat though, BALANCE IS NECESSARY. We can’t always go through our days letting life slide by, shrugging things off because “it just isn’t time”. Yes, we need to be kind to ourselves. No, I don’t berate myself when I screw up. Yes, we need to take initiative. We need to try. We need to test our limits and see just how much further out of our comfort zones we can go today!
How does that saying go? “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I know that we have built our walls of excuses and defined ourselves into a simple, labeled box. The world is still out there, though. Waiting for you to open up to so much more. Most days I don’t feel like I am blossoming. Blossoming sounds elegant and beautiful. No, I feel like I am prying off layers, like I am ripping down my self. Most of the time I feel like I am standing bare, getting whipped up in a storm and barely making it out alive.
Still, I pry and pull and shred. You only have one wild life to live. Take it. Wake up. Suck it up, buttercup and fucking LIVE. Challenge yourself. Not every day. Hell no. We all need breaks and to rest. But challenge yourself. Pick something and attack it. Change your lifestyle. Make it count, NOW. Because tomorrow is not yours, stop pretending it is. We have nothing in this mad house except for our choices, except for our moments.
Give up a bad habit. Stick to it, at least for 46 days. It isn’t impossible, and you won’t regret it. Just think, if you don’t, if you just keep doing the same thing every day even though you hate it, what the hell are you doing with your life?
Get on it.